Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Description

The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller is a life-changing, research-based book that teaches readers how to grasp the science of adult attachment in order to find and keep love. This easy-to-read and very helpful book gives us a method to understand why we love the way we do and how we can love better.

Grounded in decades of psychological research, Attached introduces readers to adult attachment theory, a topic that started with studying the links between babies and their caregivers but has subsequently been shown to have a big impact on our romantic relationships as adults. The main point of the book is that the way we connect with love partners isn’t random or just a function of personality; it’s based on attachment types that are deeply established in us.

Levine and Heller say that there are three main types of attachment: Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant.

People that are secure are okay with being close to others and depending on them. They trust people easily and talk to them well.

People with anxiety want closeness but are typically afraid of being rejected or abandoned, which makes them worry about their partner’s availability and send contradictory signals.

People who are avoidant cherish their independence, sometimes have trouble with emotional connection, and may feel uncomfortable when things get too near, so they pull away or create distance.

What makes Attached so strong is that it helps readers recognize these tendencies plainly in themselves and their partners. The writers give you a simple, useful way to figure out your own style and the actions and feelings that go along with it. They explain how each style affects how we talk to each other, deal with problems, and exhibit love.

Levine and Heller show how attachment patterns affect relationships by using real-life stories and case studies that people can relate to. Readers observe anxious spouses misreading quiet as rejection, avoidant partners feeling overwhelmed by real love, and secure partners handling fights with calm reassurance. These clear examples let readers see their own tendencies and realize that a lot of frequent relationship problems aren’t because of human flaws but because of attachment styles that don’t fit.

But Attached doesn’t just tell you what’s wrong; it also gives you useful tips on how to fix it. The book gives nervous people techniques to help them relax, set limits, and find partners who can provide them the safety they need. It tells avoidant types to get used to being vulnerable and to see how important emotional closeness is. on secure partners, it gives them ideas on how to help loved ones who aren’t as secure.

The writers also talk about how to pick better partners by noticing signs of attachment early on in a relationship. They say that compatibility isn’t only about having things in common or having good chemistry; it’s also about finding someone whose attachment style meshes with yours to make a secure, happy relationship.

One of the most powerful things about Attached is that it says attachment types don’t have to be set in stone. People can change how they relate to others in a more secure way if they are conscious of themselves and work on it. Couples can break out of unpleasant patterns and replace them with healthier, more satisfying interactions thanks to the book’s advice on communication, emotional management, and creating trust.

The writing of Levine and Heller is clear, kind, and not judgmental. Instead of criticizing readers for how they bond to others, they show compassion and empathy. They want to provide readers the information and tools they need to change, not just to make their relationships better, but also to feel better about themselves and their mental health.

In the end, Attached is more than just a guide to relationships. It’s a way to think about how people connect with each other. This book has deep insights and practical strategies to help you make love safer, healthier, and more satisfying, whether you’re single and looking for better partners, in a new relationship and trying to build a strong foundation, or dealing with long-standing problems with a partner you love.

About the Authors

Dr. Amir Levine is a psychiatrist and neuroscientist with expertise in adult attachment and relationships. Rachel Heller is a relationship coach specializing in applying attachment theory to help individuals and couples build healthier, more fulfilling connections. Together, they combine scientific rigor with real-world experience to make attachment theory accessible and actionable for everyone.

Product Details

• Title: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love
• Authors: Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
• ISBN-13: 9781585429134
• Publisher: TarcherPerigee
• Published: January 2010
• Pages: 304
• Binding: Paperpack